27th March 2017 6:37 pm

Dr Niwrad’s Laughter Lab

Dr Niwrad’s Laughter Lab

1. Two neutrons go into a bar. Neutron 1 says to the other, sadly, ‘I’ve lost an electron’. Neutron 2 replies, ‘Are you sure?’. Neutron 2 responds, ‘Yes, I’m positive!’

2. Helium walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases.”  He doesn’t react.

3. Pavlov’s sitting in the pub when his phone rings. “Damn,” he says, “I forgot to feed the dog!”

4. A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting and spot a deer.  The physicist does some ballistic calculations assuming a vaccuum, lifts his rifle to his calculated angle and fires.  The bullet lands 5 metres short.  The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance and lifts his rifle slightly higher.  His bullet goes 5 m long.  The statistician calls out, “We got him!”

5. Three logicians walk into a bar.  The bartender says, “Do you all want something to drink?”  The first logician says, “I don’t know”.  The second logician says, “I don’t know.”  The third logician says, “Yes!”

6. There are two types of people in the world.  Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

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