Dr Niwrad’s Laughter Lab
- Two neutrons go into a bar. Neutron 1 says to the other, sadly, ‘I’ve lost an electron’. Neutron 2 replies, ‘Are you sure?’. Neutron 2 responds, ‘Yes, I’m positive!’
- Helium walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases.” He doesn’t react.
- Pavlov’s sitting in the pub when his phone rings. “Damn,” he says, “I forgot to feed the dog!”
- A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting and spot a deer. The physicist does some ballistic calculations assuming a vaccuum, lifts his rifle to his calculated angle and fires. The bullet lands 5 metres short. The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance and lifts his rifle slightly higher. His bullet goes 5 m long. The statistician calls out, “We got him!”
- Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Do you all want something to drink?” The first logician says, “I don’t know”. The second logician says, “I don’t know.” The third logician says, “Yes!”
- There are two types of people in the world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
Why not email us your jokes at email@example.com
Science is fun!